Feelings you may have when you stop caring

People usually experience a wide range of (sometimes conflicting) emotions.  You may suddenly feel a lack of purpose, now that you don’t have someone to look after any more. There may be some aspects of caring that you’ll miss. Or you may feel relieved at the pressure being taken away.

You might find that people who had always asked you about the person no longer know what to say. They may talk about everything except your relative or friend who’s died. This could be upsetting, or you may be grateful.

It’s likely you’ll have shared experiences with the person that no one else knows about. If they’ve moved to care/nursing home or died it can seem as if part of your own life has disappeared too. You may feel lonely and you may need support to deal with feelings of bereavement.

The organisation At a Loss provides links to helplines, resources and services which can help.

Bereavement counselling/ Grief support services in Merton

Bereavement counselling aims to help you cope with their grief.

Bereavement is a natural process that needs time to unfold, so it is not recommended people seek counselling immediately after a loss of a Cared for person.

Merton Uplift offer a series of sessions which can help you move through different stages of the process.

Wimbledon Guild offer grief support that is free, confidential, and open to adults living in Merton or registered with a Merton GP practice. The Grief Support service is available weekdays, with some evening appointments. Sessions are held in Wimbledon, Mitcham or online. Email: griefsupport@wimbledonguild.co.uk

Specialist support

Cruse Bereavement has a helpline, online chat service and resources.

The Good Grief Trust has information and also runs virtual cafes for different groups, including LGBTQ+ people.

Marie Curie has information about coping with feelings and adjusting to a new routine, and runs a Marie Curie runs a telephone bereavement service.

The Jewish Bereavement and Counselling service understands the specific issues raised by bereavement within a Jewish context.